Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Rigging tourney's for the win!

< rant >

So, evidently, Tye and I can rig a local tourney to guarantee a win.  :)  There's been some discussion on the back end for our beating face last weekend at the doubles tournament.  "Did you know that not only are we bad ass at 40k, but we also have the ability to rig tourneys so we win. Cause, that was the only way we were able to stomp face so well...That's why the prizes were so big."

I was talking about this with Corey - and he referenced the South Park episode with Gnomes attempting to steal underwear for profit.  See screen cap here modified to be the following:

  • Step 1: set up tournament, "manipulate" players to play at $10 a head.
  • Step 2: ???
  • Step 3: take all the winnings
His final bit was "There's a crucial flaw in the plan unless a) you had rigged scenarios b) you have an 'uber-broken' army list or c) you have microwaved dice."    Now - rigged scenarios?  You betcha!  Rolled randomly from the big rulebook - definitely rigged... you check the fine print where it says "Trent and Tye always win"?  "'uber-broken' army list"?  Well - you know we did have 2 HQ, 2 Elite, 6 Troops, and 2 Heavy's in 2000 points... so I guess so.  Microwaved dice?  Nah... we play old school - each of my dice are hand-drilled to roll only 5's - great for orks shooting and armour saves - less helpful for the leadership checks. Now Tye's dice - his are hand crafted by specially trained Peruvian screech monkey's to have all seven sides of his D6's roll 3's.

Or, from Tye...

Now it's my understanding that there were feelings that the tourney was "rigged" and Trent and I were going to win all along.  That being the case, I figured I would enlighten you with our master plans.  Following these easy steps you too can rig any tourney you play in.

  • Step 1: Make sure that you and your partner have a combined total of over 25 YEARS playing the game.
  • Step 2: Plan, Prepare, and Design a solid list that compliments each other well.  Make sure that you have a strong list that is able to handle anything thrown at it.
  • Step 3: Make sure that you and your partner have time to talk strategy and different possibilities.
  • Step 4: Make sure your armies are painted and you are good sportsmen so that you don't loose points on dumb things.
  • Step 5: Play 3 good games against tough lists and decent players.  And beat them soundly.

By following these simple steps, you too can win every tourney you play in.

< /rant >


  1. Awww, don't let it get to you... they're just mad that you are more of a gaming geek than they are & that they lost -- obviously BAD sportsmanship.

  2. Aww man, you always do well and get good sportsmanship scores. I'd be more impressed if you had actually rigged the thing. ;)

    In all seriousness, there is a reason you do well and get good sportsmanship scores. You paint to a reasonable standard, you play well, write good lists and treat your opponents well while having fun. Hmm, check, check, check and checkity-check. Is there another part of the gaming hobby I missed?